2009 Top Five Posts – My Most Embarassing Moment

You see kids, the new year is quickly approaching (much to quickly in fact).  There are only five Monday’s left until 2010 (including today). 

In expectation of the new year, every Monday from now until the end of the year we are going to repost our top five most popular blogs of 2009. 


Streetlite Stories – My Most Embarrassing Moment

There I was, standing on stage, speaking to 40+ high school and jr. high school students about Hinduism. 

Did I mention the stage was wooden and hollow?…that is important later.

So yeah…Hinduism.  I was giving a stellar presentation of the religion; if I do say so myself.  The youth were eating out of my hand.  With every turn of phrase, with every slide on the screen, with every dramatic illustration I drew them further and further into what I was teaching.  They were amazed!  Mesmerized I tell you!  Completely captivated!  Hanging with heightened excitement on every word I said!  I was rock’in the house! 


Until I got to the part of the talk where I explained meditation. 

Oh, I gave them something to meditate on all right.

I explained to the group, “…and some believe that different positions will help you focus and block out the world.  The simplest position looks like this.”  Then I moved to sit on the hollow wooden stage with my legs crossed. 

Seriously…it came from no where.

The moment when my rear made contact with the stage will be frozen in my mind forever.

Ever heard a really loud Harley reeving up?

Ever heard an elephant sneeze?

Ever heard a jet taking off?

A truck backfiring?

The air being let slowly out of a balloon?

All of these sounds combined do not do justice to the extended rumble that exploded from my butt and reverberated through that hollow stage.  It was long.  It was loud.  It clearly came from me; and that stupid stage was an excellent amplifier.

Time stopped for me at that moment.  My brain, completely delusional, had a brief spark of optimism.  “Maybe no one noticed.  Maybe no one heard.”

It felt like I was moving in slow motion.  I raised my head to make eye contact with the youth.  Chaos erupted.

David, a short muscular senior, sprang up from his seat and yelled in hysterical laughter, “THAT WAS AWESOME!”  Filled with energy he could not control, he proceeded to run in circles around the room, violently punching the air, screaming at the top of his lungs, “AWWWESOOOOMMMMME!  AWWWESOOOMMMMME!”

One tall thin high school girl, McKenzie, fell out of her chair she was laughing so hard.  She held her stomach and rolled on the ground.

Several students looked as though they were going to go into seizures.

Two thin high school boys, Nick and Mike, turned to face each other and, with uncontrollable laughter, began rapidly punching each other in the chest. 

Two Jr. high boys, Meki and Tommy, began pressing their lips to their arms and blowing with all their might making loud farting sounds.

After a few minutes I thought about trying to get control of the room…but David was still running in circles, Meki and Tommy were still making noises on their arms, Nick and Mike were still punching each other, and McKenzie was still on the floor.  There was no recovering from that one.

2009 Top Five Posts – My Most Embarassing Moment

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